Category: Kidz & Teens
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In this video, found in a suburban Philadelphia Goodwill, Goldie Hawn speaks inappropriately to pre-teens about sex and creeps everyone out. More Goldie Hawn and kids on FFF Vol. 4 DVD.
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This video was found at a Goodwill in Avon, Ohio and its purpose, we assume, was to teach kids that the doctor's office is nothing to be afraid of. Turns out that going to the doctor is actually the most horrific expe...
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This comes from a Christian kids' show called "Quigley's Village." Naturally, there are puppets. Found at a Salvation Army in Lorain, Ohio.
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This video purports to teach children how to be safe from strangers and then proceeds to mock those same children by showing them how ignorant they are. Pretty good strategy if you ask us. This tape was found at a fle...
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This clip is from a series called "Acquire the Fire," hosted by the venerable Ron Luce, that talks to kids in a manner they can all understand: outdated lingo. Found at a Salvation Army in Cleveland, Ohio.
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From Kathie Lee's Rockin' Tots Cafe, a short-lived rip-off of Pee-Wee's Playhouse (what parent would buy this for their kid?!). Warning: This physically hurts to watch.
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This clip is from an acne treatment promotional video that tries to pass itself off as a hip, MTV-style talk show for teens. Annoying, although admittedly, if this were a real show, we'd be tuning in every day.
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A quick look at what's on tap in the new Found Footage Festival show, coming soon to your city.
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This safety video uses the latest cyber effects from 1998 to tell the dramatic story of a man overrun by cyberpunks, cyber viruses, and cyber predators, and the cyber detective who makes cyberspace cyber-safe again.
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We taped this show off Madison cable access TV in 1992 and have been quoting it ever since. There's a lot to admire about the 12-year-old host, Mark: his catty dismissal of Captain EO, his strict adherence to the five...
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Here's an excerpt from a feature length film called "Santa And The Ice Cream Bunny." You would think this is a long lost Kenneth Anger film, but no. This is for kids. Some seriously effed up kids.
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A shoddily animated rapping Santa Claus tells us how Santa travels when he's not in his sleigh. Namely, in a jet ski, a Corvette and a backhoe.
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In this clip, we learn that in the off-season, Santa uses a hair dryer on his beard, shovels his own driveway and watches all the "There Goes a Firetruck" tapes we always find at thrift stores.
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We find a lot of potty training videos at thrift stores, but "I Gotta Go!" might be the catchiest one of all time. Plus, there's a chimp at the end.
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This shameless promotional video for Slush Puppie plays less like a fun children's program and more like a drug-addled nightmare. Hosted by a wisecracking dog named Axle Power.
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This 1992 exercise video by Mattel makes the bizarre choice of featuring a stop-motion animated Barbie, which gives the whole thing a creepy, "Clash of the Titans" vibe. Featured on the Found Footage Festival Volume 3...
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These four different but equally disturbing religious videos try to get you to believe in Christ via clowns, karaoke, puppets, and ventriloquism. Worked for us. Featuring: "Clown Ministry," "Little Marcy," "Christian ...
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This 1998 educational video proved that girls could do anything they wanted to do, including having extremely stilted conversations with female pilots.
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In this New York Mets video, baseball great Mookie Wilson sings a song about believing in yourself. Inexplicably, it features football, cigarettes, and scientists.
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From the people who brought you the ultra-catchy "I Gotta Go!" comes this Caribbean-influenced potty training ditty, complete with crude animation.
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CMSF is quite possibly the most ambitious public access show ever. Host Jim W. Hawkins has recorded over 500 episodes over the last 10 years. Who knew there was that much cheerleading news to cover?
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In this insider peek into the real life of former teen heartthrob Chad Allen, the "Our House" star talks about his interests, making sure to stress that girls are on that list. Another fine entry in the "Corey Haim: M...
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From "Stairway to Stardom," the greatest public access show in the history of television, this dance routine by Lola Perazzo is nothing short of stunning. The leotard could have left more to the imagination, but every...
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Jack-of-all-trades/professional genie Hard Hat Harry leads our two precocious co-hosts on a tour of NASA and also teaches that, indeed, everybody poops. But astronauts seem to poop the most.